The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns
Looking for the world’s most complete listing of hare puns? Of course you’re not. I seriously doubt anyone is. However, lack of interest did not stop me from assembling The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns.
Well, compiling it required more than simple assemblage – someone had to actually create the Hare Puns unthology first. Me.
Talk about being motivated! While it took Michelangelo four years to complete the Sistine Chapel, I completed The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns in just one week! I beat him handily!
Naturally you’re wondering how it all began. Fortunately, I’m eager to tell you!
Last week, a good friend (aka Jack) posted a hare pun on his Facebook page. Unexpectedly, from out of the blue, a hare pun came bounding out of me – and I posted it.
Jack quickly reacted with a “Haha” emoji. I was stunned.
So, fortified with burgeoning sense of self-esteem, I spontaneously crafted another hare pun.
Jack then replied with yet another laughing face – and voila! That’s all it required for my therapist to confirm conclusively that my dosage of Zoloft had yet to keep my OCD in check.
100 Hare Puns later (and a 25mg dose upping), I’m posting the first-ever Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns. I hope you get a few laughs. If not, just remember, it didn’t cost you a penny.
What do you call rabbits who cut articles and pictures from newspapers and magazines?
What do you call rabbit with a message from God?
An Angel Hare
What do you call a rabbit corpse?
What rabbit disorder is characterized by unconventional, twisted behaviors?
Kinky Hare Syndrome
What do you call a black rabbit, Private Detective?
What do you call a rabbit’s list of chores his wife hands him to complete?
What do you call a rabbit in psychotherapy?
What do you call a rabbit physical trainer?
What do you call a rabbit who moved out of Yonkers to go to Boston, then to Cleveland, only to relocate to Dallas, etc., ad infinitum?
Hare Transplant (or Transplantation)
What drink do rabbits take to get a feeling of vigor and well-being?
What do you call a rabbit chiropractor?
A Hare Straightener
What do you call a rabbit in the spotlight?
What do you call a rabbit sensitive to melody, harmony, rhythm, timbre, audio quality, and all aspects of music?
What club does a rabbit prefer for its approach shot to the green?
What do you call a rabbit’s stickum he applies to his surfboard?
What do you call Pentecostal rabbit?
What do you call the art of rabbit basket making?
What do you call small group of rabbits that separate themselves from the other rabbits?
What do you call rabbits who makes a 1935 Ford Woody look brand new?
What do you call a rabbit who was born in the Age of the Aquarius?
What do you call a rabbit’s foot used to substitute for a missing foot?
What do you call a rabbit’s mode of expressing their aesthetic taste in being vogue?
What do you call rabbit slices of deli meat?
What bone condition causes rabbits to limp?
Hare Line Fracture
What do buck rabbits ask doe rabbits to shave most?
What technique do literary rabbits employ to introduce a radical change in plot direction?
Where do rabbits go on weekends to socialize and dine with their friends?
What does each rabbit do in poker before the deal?
Where are rabbits kept for pending criminal charges, trial or sentencing?
What palm grease do rabbits use in bribery?
What do you call a rabbit who grows palmate antlers and hanging skin around its neck?
What do you call a rabbit’s habit of interfering with the style and plans of others?
What is the number one reason rabbits cite for why they attend self-help seminars?
What do you rabbits call it when mutual options under consideration are of equal value?
What order does an officer give to weaponized a rabbit?
What do you call a rabbit’s shop that caters to fashionable clientele?
What do you call a rabbit that weaves?
What do you call a rabbit that comes and goes as it pleases?
Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow
What letter of the alphabet added to a rabbit makes its Irish?
What do you call someone obsessed with rabbit puns?
What do you call rabbit rudeness?
What to you call a rabbit that is crazy about brown rabbits in breeding season?
Mad as a March Hare
What advice do psychologists give to rabbits that are overly critical about their own mistakes?
To Hare Is Human
What do rabbits use to rid themselves of unwanted guests?
What is the name of the most famous of all rabbit basketball players?
What do you call an rabbit aesthetician?
A Facial Hare
What do call a lower abdomen rabbit tattoo?
A Pubic Hare
What do you call the place where a rabbit stores its jumpsuits?
What eventually happens to rabbit that gets too old?
What do rabbits call their annual incorrigible holiday?
Bad Hare Day
What do rabbits call their gross income?
What do you call a rabbit who cultivates a fashionable mode of expression?
A Hare Stylist
What do you get when an obese rabbit melts?
What do poor business rabbits claim on the tax returns?
A Hare Loss
What do call a rabbit who can go long spans without water?
What do you call a college’s practice of admitting rabbits over squirrels?
What do parent rabbits call it when they disappoint their child rabbit?
Let One’s Hare Down
What do rabbits use to plug-in an appliance outdoors?
A Hare Extension
What do rabbits call friends on?
A Hare Line
What do you call a Catholic rabbit wearing a rosary?
What do you call a rabbit that is nearly no longer wet?
What do you call rabbit crayon drawings?
What do get when a Polish Rabbit mates with a Soviet Chinchilla?
A Cross Hare
What do you call a rabbit belonging to a canine?
Hare of the Dog
What do you call rabbit ridden by Roy Rogers?
What do you call rabbits who chant the names of God?
What do you then call a rabbit that gets under your skin?
An Ingrown Hare
What do rabbits call their spring dance where they gather to multiply?
What do you call a rabbit’s astonishing practice of lifting their voices, legs, eyebrows, children, money, flags, and cattle?
What do rabbits call their supreme leader?
Head of Hare
What do call a rabbit who commits an act with the intent of disguising the actual source of responsibility and pinning blame on another rabbit?
What do call a rabbit that owns securities in a capital market?
What advice do rabbits give to Everyready about the Energizer Bunny?
Keep Your Hare On
What nickname do rabbits give to rabbits who look like Dolly Pardon?
What do rabbits do with a fellow rabbit stuck in a brier?
Tear Their Hare Out
What do rabbits call the cloning of another rabbit?
What do you call rabbits that contend everything is open to interpretation?
What do rabbits call a newly married rabbit?
What do you call a quick-tempered rabbit?
What do rabbits call the faux pas of spitting their words when they talk?
What do you call a rabbit’s close call with death?
What do you call rabbit texting in all uppercase letters?
What health insurance do rabbits receive when they turn 65?
What do you call certain rabbit’s distinctive characteristic mode of acting cool and collected?
What do you call a rabbit that likes to cheer at sporting events?
What do you call a rabbit with large biceps gotten from lifting weights?
What do call a group of musicians rabbits?
What do you get when you cross a Swamp Rabbit with a Marsh Rabbit?
What do you call a rabbit doctor who specializes in Rhinoplasty?
What you call a rabbit who endorses candidates?
What do you call a rabbit who resembles Jay Leno?
What do you call a rabbit’s love of playfully tricking other rabbits?
Which TWO do not typically kiss you and send you flowers: 1) Your Mate; 2) Dr. Jekyll; or 3) a Rabbit?
Hide Nor Hare
What would happen to you if you and your rabbit were found guilty of horse thieving?
Hang By a Hare
What do call a rabbit who always lands his pool ball within 4 inches of the pocket?
After powering down the runway, what did the rabbit do to score a perfect ten on the Vault?
What is the name of a remake fantasy comedy-drama where a young buck rabbit is aged to an adult overnight?
What do you call a rabbit pilot that lost his holding path while waiting to land its aircraft?
Pattern Hare Loss
What do you call a rabbit’s anthropogenic development?
Human Hare Growth
What do you call getting rid of a rabbit with a focused light beam?
Laser Hare Removal
What do you call a rabbit hanging around a man’s neck?
What do you call a rabbit that rings a bell and points at de plane?
What do you call a rabbit whose love for carrots elicits unquestioning reverence, respect and devotion?
What do you call rabbits being defunded in metropolitan areas throughout America?
What do you call the place where a rabbit chose the red pill over the blue one?
What’s the name of the rabbit created in the 1903s with the voice of Mel Blanc?
Bugs Bunny, of course!
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The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns
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