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The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns

Looking for the world’s most complete listing of hare puns? Of course you’re not. I seriously doubt anyone is. However, lack of interest did not stop me from assembling The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns.

Well, compiling it required more than simple assemblage – someone had to actually create the Hare Puns unthology first. Me.

Talk about being motivated! While it took Michelangelo four years to complete the Sistine Chapel, I completed The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns in just one week! I beat him handily!

Naturally you’re wondering how it all began. Fortunately, I’m eager to tell you!

The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns
The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns ©Mark Jordan 2020

Last week, a good friend (aka Jack) posted a hare pun on his Facebook page. Unexpectedly, from out of the blue, a hare pun came bounding out of me – and I posted it.

Jack quickly reacted with a “Haha” emoji. I was stunned.

So, fortified with burgeoning sense of self-esteem, I spontaneously crafted another hare pun.

Jack then replied with yet another laughing face – and voila! That’s all it required for my therapist to confirm conclusively that my dosage of Zoloft had yet to keep my OCD in check.

100 Hare Puns later (and a 25mg dose upping), I’m posting the first-ever Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns. I hope you get a few laughs. If not, just remember, it didn’t cost you a penny.


What do you call rabbits who cut articles and pictures from newspapers and magazines?

Hare Clippers


What do you call rabbit with a message from God?

An Angel Hare


What do you call a rabbit corpse?

Body Hare


What rabbit disorder is characterized by unconventional, twisted behaviors?

Kinky Hare Syndrome


What do you call a black rabbit, Private Detective?

Hare Shaft


The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns

What do you call a rabbit’s list of chores his wife hands him to complete?

Hare Dos


What do you call a rabbit in psychotherapy?

Hare Analysis


What do you call a rabbit physical trainer?

Hare Conditioner


What do you call a rabbit who moved out of Yonkers to go to Boston, then to Cleveland, only to relocate to Dallas, etc., ad infinitum?

Hare Transplant (or Transplantation)


What drink do rabbits take to get a feeling of vigor and well-being?

Hare Tonic


What do you call a rabbit chiropractor?

A Hare Straightener


What do you call a rabbit in the spotlight?

Hare Highlighting


What do you call a rabbit sensitive to melody, harmony, rhythm, timbre, audio quality, and all aspects of music?

Ear Hare


What club does a rabbit prefer for its approach shot to the green?

Hare Iron


What do you call a rabbit’s stickum he applies to his surfboard?

Hare Wax


What do you call Pentecostal rabbit?

Hare Roller


What do you call the art of rabbit basket making?

Hare Weaving


What do you call small group of rabbits that separate themselves from the other rabbits?

The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns

Hare Splinter


What do you call rabbits who makes a 1935 Ford Woody look brand new?

Hare Restoration


What do you call a rabbit who was born in the Age of the Aquarius?

Hare


What do you call a rabbit’s foot used to substitute for a missing foot?

Hare Prosthesis


What do you call a rabbit’s mode of expressing their aesthetic taste in being vogue?

Hare Fashion


What do you call rabbit slices of deli meat?

Hare Cuts


What bone condition causes rabbits to limp?

Hare Line Fracture


What do buck rabbits ask doe rabbits to shave most?

Leg Hare


What technique do literary rabbits employ to introduce a radical change in plot direction?

Hare Twists


Where do rabbits go on weekends to socialize and dine with their friends?

Hare Club


What does each rabbit do in poker before the deal?

Hare Up


Where are rabbits kept for pending criminal charges, trial or sentencing?

Hare Cells


What palm grease do rabbits use in bribery?

Hare Oil


The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns

What do you call a rabbit who grows palmate antlers and hanging skin around its neck?

Hare Mousse


What do you call a rabbit’s habit of interfering with the style and plans of others?

Hare Crimping


What is the number one reason rabbits cite for why they attend self-help seminars?

Hare Growth


What do you rabbits call it when mutual options under consideration are of equal value?

Hare Wash


What order does an officer give to weaponized a rabbit?

Arm Hare


What do you call a rabbit’s shop that caters to fashionable clientele?

Hare Salon


What do you call a rabbit that weaves?

Hare Braider


What do you call a rabbit that comes and goes as it pleases?

Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow


What letter of the alphabet added to a rabbit makes its Irish?

O”Hare


What do you call someone obsessed with rabbit puns?

Hare Brained


What do you call rabbit rudeness?

Hare Lip


What to you call a rabbit that is crazy about brown rabbits in breeding season?

Mad as a March Hare


What advice do psychologists give to rabbits that are overly critical about their own mistakes?

To Hare Is Human

The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns
The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns

What do rabbits use to rid themselves of unwanted guests?

Hare Remover


What is the name of the most famous of all rabbit basketball players?

Hair Jordan


What do you call an rabbit aesthetician?

A Facial Hare


What do call a lower abdomen rabbit tattoo?

A Pubic Hare


What do you call the place where a rabbit stores its jumpsuits?

Hare Dresser


What eventually happens to rabbit that gets too old?

Hare Dye


What do rabbits call their annual incorrigible holiday?

Bad Hare Day


What do rabbits call their gross income?

Hare Net


What do you call a rabbit who cultivates a fashionable mode of expression?

A Hare Stylist


What do you get when an obese rabbit melts?

Hare Grease


What do poor business rabbits claim on the tax returns?

A Hare Loss


What do call a rabbit who can go long spans without water?

Camel Hare


What do you call a college’s practice of admitting rabbits over squirrels?

The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns

Hare Quota


What do parent rabbits call it when they disappoint their child rabbit?

Let One’s Hare Down


What do rabbits use to plug-in an appliance outdoors?

A Hare Extension


What do rabbits call friends on?

A Hare Line


What do you call a Catholic rabbit wearing a rosary?

Beaded Hare


What do you call a rabbit that is nearly no longer wet?

Hare Dryer


What do you call rabbit crayon drawings?

Hair Coloring


What do get when a Polish Rabbit mates with a Soviet Chinchilla?

A Cross Hare


What do you call a rabbit belonging to a canine?

Hare of the Dog


What do you call rabbit ridden by Roy Rogers?

Hare Trigger


What do you call rabbits who chant the names of God?

Hare Krishnas


What do you then call a rabbit that gets under your skin?

An Ingrown Hare


What do rabbits call their spring dance where they gather to multiply?

Hare Ball


What do you call a rabbit’s astonishing practice of lifting their voices, legs, eyebrows, children, money, flags, and cattle?

Hare Raising

Hare Puns by Orange County Headshots

What do rabbits call their supreme leader?

Head of Hare


What do call a rabbit who commits an act with the intent of disguising the actual source of responsibility and pinning blame on another rabbit?

False Hare


What do call a rabbit that owns securities in a capital market?

Long Hare


What advice do rabbits give to Everyready about the Energizer Bunny?

Keep Your Hare On


What nickname do rabbits give to rabbits who look like Dolly Pardon?

Chest Hare


What do rabbits do with a fellow rabbit stuck in a brier?

Tear Their Hare Out


What do rabbits call the cloning of another rabbit?

Splitting Hares


What do you call rabbits that contend everything is open to interpretation?

Gray Hares


What do rabbits call a newly married rabbit?

Ringed Hare


What do you call a quick-tempered rabbit?

Short Hare


What do rabbits call the faux pas of spitting their words when they talk?

Hare Spray


What do you call a rabbit’s close call with death?

Hare Brush


What do you call rabbit texting in all uppercase letters?

Hare Caps


The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns

What health insurance do rabbits receive when they turn 65?

Hare Care


What do you call certain rabbit’s distinctive characteristic mode of acting cool and collected?

Hare Style


What do you call a rabbit that likes to cheer at sporting events?

Root Hare


What do you call a rabbit with large biceps gotten from lifting weights?

Hare Curler


What do call a group of musicians rabbits?

Hare Band


What do you get when you cross a Swamp Rabbit with a Marsh Rabbit?

Hair Moss


What do you call a rabbit doctor who specializes in Rhinoplasty?

Nose Hare


What you call a rabbit who endorses candidates?

Back Hare


What do you call a rabbit who resembles Jay Leno?

Chin Hare


What do you call a rabbit’s love of playfully tricking other rabbits?

Hare Pulling


Which TWO do not typically kiss you and send you flowers: 1) Your Mate; 2) Dr. Jekyll; or 3) a Rabbit?

Hide Nor Hare


What would happen to you if you and your rabbit were found guilty of horse thieving?

Hang By a Hare


What do call a rabbit who always lands his pool ball within 4 inches of the pocket?

Crotch Hare


After powering down the runway, what did the rabbit do to score a perfect ten on the Vault?

Hare Stick


Hare Puns by Orange County Headshots

What is the name of a remake fantasy comedy-drama where a young buck rabbit is aged to an adult overnight?

Big Hare


What do you call a rabbit pilot that lost his holding path while waiting to land its aircraft?

Pattern Hare Loss


What do you call a rabbit’s anthropogenic development?

Human Hare Growth


What do you call getting rid of a rabbit with a focused light beam?

Laser Hare Removal


What do you call a rabbit hanging around a man’s neck?

Hare Tie


What do you call a rabbit that rings a bell and points at de plane?

Hare Tattoo


What do you call a rabbit whose love for carrots elicits unquestioning reverence, respect and devotion?

Hare Fetish


What do you call rabbits being defunded in metropolitan areas throughout America?

Hare Police


What do you call the place where a rabbit chose the red pill over the blue one?

Hare Matrix


What’s the name of the rabbit created in the 1903s with the voice of Mel Blanc?

Bugs Bunny, of course!


In the meantime, and as always, should you have questions regarding any aspect of professional headshots or our The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns, no concern is too small.

Orange County Headshots | Mark Jordan Photographer

The Unofficial Unabridged Unthology of Hare Puns


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